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As the planet’s geopolitical front continues to heat up and uncertainty continues to flourish in global financial markets, more and more people are turning to gold as their long term investment strategy.

And since gold does not have an interest rate like other financial products, many people find storing their gold outside of their home in costly (yet secure) facilities to be counter intuitive, at least in the interim (until financial collapse reveals itself as the certainty which it is).

With this in mind we spoke to James Marrow, a former cat burglar turned good. He currently works for his own security consulting business out of London, England. Since he does not want our readers to know about his past, we have changed his name for his privacy. James served 12 years in Her Majesty’s Prison Brixton for what he calls “the dog’s bollocks of a heist if it wasn’t for a local neighborhood watch programme”.

Here are James’ best tips on hiding your gold at home:

Be creative. The first thing I would look for is a safe behind every reasonably sized painting in the flat. Then I’d look for a safe bolted to the floor in all of the usual places.

A security system is a farce you needn’t bother with as most skilled burglars can get around them in 30 seconds flat.

The trick is to store your gold in a place that no one is going think to look.

For instance, storing your gold under floorboards and under a China cabinet – while somewhat predictable for a gent of my experience, it would simply be too difficult to access without prior planning.

And then there’s the good ol’ secret door bit. If you search the web for “secret book case” you will find that these are actually a thing. Pull a book, and weewoo, you’re in a secret room below a staircase. For fun, my office is behind a door like this, clients think it’s a hoot.

There is a great video on how to build one yourself here:

This last tip is probably the most important: shut your gaff. Buying gold is a private decision, one that you do not talk about – ever. Not to anyone, not even your wife. I’m serious. If you think your spouse is of the communal sort and telling secret’s a trust-building exercise, you may as well put a sign on the front of your lot advertising “free bullion”.